Chasing Acceptance

The question I ask is...

What is it about Christians that make non-Christians dislike us with such a passion?

I think I have an idea. We make it difficult...plain and simple.

I started to go to Church heavily when I was in 8th grade. A friend in a class asked me to join her and go to youth group one Wednesday night and there my story began as a Christian. I did not become a Christian until my senior year of high school and I cannot lie, I haven't hit that same intense high I use to in awhile. I know it is not because I don't trust in my Lord or what his plans are for me, but I question his people. I question them heavily. I question myself as well.

One thing i've realized is that, if you aren't a Christian or you aren't heavily involved or work at a Church it is hard to find your place. Now many many people may disagree with me because maybe they've been going all of their lives...have a family that won't give them another option.

But from my experience it is tough. I was heavily involved in middle school/high school. But i've found in my 20's/ college years that is difficult to find my place. It seems my only place is on Sunday morning. I feel that is not enough.

It is diffcult for me because sometimes I cannot be there every Wednesday...or every Sunday. Especially on Wednesdays, I work...which makes it difficult to make any kind of thing going on. So I feel as if I am not there every Wednesday on the dot I do not get the same acceptance as others. Maybe its not fair...maybe I should work harder...I am in between on my thoughts.

I feel as if some people get in their certain clicks and they have no desire to hear anyone elses opinions or thoughts which really pushes people away and quickly. Which makes them seem as if they don't want new people...makes them seem like they don't want new Christians or even existing Christians that just want some tiny piece or taste of what is going on.

I am the existing Christian that wants my taste of what is going on, is that so much to ask? I want to be apart of a group that does nothing but chase God. I want that again. It has been gone out of my life for to long now. But now I find myself chasing acceptance and not God, and I cannot lie...it breaks my heart. It shouldn't be that way.

Sitting... Waiting... Wishing...

I didn't know stress until I got engaged. It is suppose to be the most beautiful time, and it really...just isn't. I love my fiance, no doubt and my stress has nothing to do with him. But, my stress lies with everyone else. Sometimes people just do not understand that yes I am marrying a man in the military...yes I am on his time, not yours or my own.

Also, everyone has their nose in everything, or they want too. The line I have used most frequently is "It is my wedding, not yours". As offensive as it may be to some people, it is the truth. The plain truth. Yes I need help, but when I don't ask for your help...most likely I don't want it. Also, if I don't ask for your opinion...I most likely don't want it. So that should be your biggest hint. You do your thing I will do mine.

I've seen some of my own friends stick up their nose to my decisions about my wedding or ideas I may have...like what in the world is your deal? I do not criticize your ideas or your plans...I could honestly care less. I am simply just happy for you and whatever you are doing.

I am sure most brides go through this...they deal with opinionated friends,family, and etc.

I want the same thing everyone else wants to know....I would like to know the date of my wedding, I would love to know if Daniel is getting deployed of if hes staying in the states..I would love to know all of these things. But I don't, sorry! Your guess is as good as mine.

Yes I will probably have a month to plan a wedding, yes I will need help. If you think its to last minute...don't come, problem solved. I know people that love me and Daniel will be there to support us, and I love you all for it.

On the upside of my venting...I bought a wedding dress. I am in love with it, and I cannot wait for Daniel to see me in it. It is timeless if I say so myself.

I hope everyone has a good day and will learn to just keep their opinion to themselves for once....or maybe twice.

People that despise our President

Okay, I come from a very republican home through and through. I did not vote for Obama. I voted for McCain. People think it is in bad taste sometimes to talk about who you did and didn't vote for. Well, hey I have no problem telling you.

The thing that puts a horrible taste in my mouth is the bad mouthing of the President on certain occasions. No I don't like him, no I didn't vote for him. But he is our leader whether you like it or not.

For example, last night President Obama spoke at a memorial for the people who lost their lives in Tuscon. Now I do not care what he said in his speech but that he was there speaking on the behalf of those people that lost their lives. Now to go and post on your facebook belittiling what he said is down right shameful. I believe it brings dishonor to the people who died. But for once that isn't about politics. It is about those people. I am sure many people could sit here and argue with me about how he brought up gun control...and other things of the sort. I don't care. Put all that aside for once.

But for once in your life, have a little respect for what that whole thing was about in the first place. Those innocent people that died. Republican or Democrat...they died. So if you would please step off of your no good political ladder for 2 seconds and give some thought to those people that did die and ones that rest in those hospital beds trying to survive.

Instead of getting all hot about the Presidents little speech, why don't you change your attitude and be grateful instead. Be greatful that your family is by you or that you aren't sitting by a hospital bed with a loved one trying to fight for their lives.

In all honesty, it makes me shameful of my fellow Americans that they do not look at the bigger picture sometimes. For once, take your mind off the politics and say a prayer or two for those families.

But what do I know?

Let it Snow...Let it Snow...Let it Ice?

Well 2011...started off with...a Winter Storm? Yes people, Georgia got a winter storm! Well more ice...not snow. After 2 days I finally braved it today. For McDonalds...I was dieing to breathe some air. Roads weren't nearly as bad as I had visioned, but I can see that some of the side roads could be terrible.

I have been eating non stop and watching movies non stop. Actually I have been watching one of my fathers favorite movies, Lonesome Dove...and some of the spin offs of it. Thank you Netflix!

The start of 2011 also brought us some heart ache. One of my fathers dearest friends Tony Banks passed away. He was a very dear friend to my father and so is his family to ours. I know Tony got the better end of the deal this year, Heaven. Death is always scary to people...but I hope when my time comes I shall not fear it. I know Tony is throwing one huge party there in Heaven. So please say your prayers for the whole Banks family as they go through this. Rest in Peace Tony Banks.

** Hope you enjoy this picture. Despite us being iced/snowed in, me and Daniel have tried our best to amuse ourselves even if hes 350 some odd miles away.**

Vent Vent Vent

Why is it when I just need ONE encouraging sentence they only thing people can tell me to do is "get use to it". I don't need to hear that, I need a support system. Just for everyones info, I will get use to it, in my own damn time.
But until I get use to it...I could use a little encouragment on the home front here. That is all I am damn asking. I don't know what is so hard about that.

You know it never fails when people really get down and want advice and need an encouraging word they look to me...because they know I will give it to them, like everyone should. I believe you should always be honest, but be as positive as possible. But why is it when I need an encouraging word or some advice, it always is harsh and never really caring. I don't understand that.

Basically right now I could crawl in a hole and stay there for awhile. Thinking it might not be a bad idea for the moment...maybe people will just shut the heck up.

If anything I am glad I have one encouraging person in my life...love you Daniel.

Back to the Grind

Well Christmas and New Years have come and gone. It went by entirely to fast...didn't like that part, but I soaked in every other part.

Daniel was home for Christmas and New Years, made it all wonderful.

Unfortunately, January 3rd came even faster and he is already back at Fort Jackson. It won't be even half as tough as the first time, he has his cell phone and computer. Thats definately a blessing.

Luckily I have an amazing bestfriend who lets me shack up with her in her dorm for 2 days so that I am not all alone. The best recipe to make me happy after Daniel leaves...bum it out and watch seasons of friends and eat fast food. Cheers me up every time. I appreciate her more than she will ever know.

When Daniel was home, I didn't work for almost 3 weeks, I thought he deserved my attention not work. But I finally went back to work the day he left, felt good to make some money again. My banks account was getting rather low...I also missed the baby I babysit...in the 3 weeks I haven't seen him it seems hes learned a whole new vocabulary and is potty training...good gosh. Where does the time go? I am saying that and I don't even have kids yet!

But it is a new year and I know some wonderful things are going to happen...I get to marry my bestfriend and start a life with him, and I hope that is only the tip of the iceberg.

I hope this new year brings everyone happiness and good health.

Hello 2011, nice to meet ya!