Gets My Blood Boiling

Okay so the military has this whole respect thing...I get it.
Well on the facebook page today the (wonderful) volunteers who run the page hit on the fact that over doing the PDA on family day is not necesscary and people should not do it and yada yada...

No jumping the bones on Family Day...Check.

BUT, okay maybe this is my whole problem with authority or something...but who is to tell me I can't kiss my fiance whenever I please?

Like I said I get the whole not jumping their bones and being respectable and such, because I am a classy lady and I do know how to act...but really?

The whole issue of the military gets my blood boiling because...it seems we are fighting for a freedom that none of the soldiers have. For example...Daniel cannot drive while he is on leave from basic...some rule they have about soliders in training. I understand they signed a contract and they basically signed their lives over to the military in doing so...but wouldn't you think the freedoms we they are fighting for they would get a taste of? All of it just seems a little ridiculous sometimes...thats all.

I know a lot of people will probably will disagree with this saying they should have the strictest of training and they should have no privileges...they are our military. Well take a look at it from a family members perspective...it is not only the solider that is giving up daily freedoms it is their family as well.

DO NOT get me wrong, I am more than appreciative for the people that serve in the military...I just sometimes think some of the things they do are kind of on the ridiculous side. That is all I am trying to say.

ALSO maybe this is just a venting tool for me...and I love it FYI. The facebook page that represents Daniels batallion is great...I mean amazing for family members. BUT the mothers that are on that page posting sometimes 2-3 times a day commenting on EVERYONES comments or posts is ANNOYING! And I would delete you off my feed but I can't do that because I don't want to delete the facebook page so I don't miss out on important information! You need to get a life, I wish I had that much time to post on a facebook page...but unfortunately I work...and have a life! I am not saying you shouldn't support your son/daughter in everything they do but let them breathe a bit! If I post a one sentence comment, I don't need you to post a whole book as a reply. My gosh. Like I said...a little ridiculous.

All of the other family members are just as excited as you to get their son,daughter,fiance,wife, husband home...but lay off for a couple days.

I am sure this whole venting is my problem with authority and with anyone telling me what I can and can't do...not a fan of it...never have been. Ask my parents. BUT I do know when to be respectful and I will be on family day...never said I wasn't, but doesn't mean I totally agree with it. :) I know the day of family day and graduation this won't even matter but right now, it gets under the skin...

Nothing Fair About It

2nd post of the day...

I've been waiting all day for a phone call from Daniel and it has yet to happen. It is still early for when he usually calls...but I know for a fact some companies have their phones all day. Why can't he?

And it NEVER fails, I start watching the news and they start talking about our military over seas...and then it never fails they bring up the brave men and women who have lost their lives. They reported on Robert Collins...he is from Tyrone, GA and went to Sandy Creek High School. He lost his life by car bomb in Iraq. It hits home, and hard...

I am suppose to be thankful on these holidays but when I watch things like that...I just cry and cry...because I am very realistic...and I say to myself...that could be Daniel. I know I can't always think like that...and I don't...but it hits home when I see those things. That is my future husband and no offense and maybe I am selfish but I don't want my future husband and my future father of my children to lose his life for people who don't even think about those kind of things...or people that don't even care about their freedoms. I don't want him dieing for them.

I know this is a lot to swallow...trust me I know. But I really wonder...how do Military wives keep their heads up when they face these types of thing every stinking day...

I can't imagine...and even more so...I never want too...
I cry and pray for those families who have lost a loved one to this war and any war...there is nothing fair about it.

Giving Thanks

I am thankful for...

1. God and the life He has given me...no really...if there was no God, I wouldn't be here.
2. A roof over my head
3. My fiance...I miss him, dearly.
4. Zachary Higgins is home to spend the Holidays with his family!
5. My family
6. My friends who are there no matter what...when most of my family isn't.
7. The military...I have a whole new appreciation for them.
8. Making it through the past 2 months...its been a task in itself
9. Being able to go to school, trying not to screw it up!
10. Having a job, I love my job and most can't say that. It may be only temporary...but it's been a blessing to meet the people I see on a daily basis.

I know everyone has a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. The world is a tough place but there is always the bright side of things, and we should always find them. I am trying to remind myself of that today. I miss Daniel a lot and it really brings me down, but I know he will be home. Really really really soon. So I am just going to dwell in the good things today and hope for the best.

Freedom!

Great things happened yesterday! Zach Higgins was let out of jail on bond after a year and a half away from his family. I am so thankful that he and his family get to spend the holidays together. God is so good. I am so glad to see my best friend smile the way she did yesterday!

It was just a crazy day yesterday and by crazy I mean wonderful. I haven't had that overwhelming feeling of happiness in awhile and it was SO GOOD to feel that again.

It is not over, but we are one step in the right direction.

2 days before the big Turkey Day, I wish I had Daniel here but oh well, one more Holiday or special occasion without him, then he will be home for the next big one. Yay! Finally we are getting close...I try not to think about it as much as possible because the more I think about him and everything the further it seems. Everyone that has loved ones at Fort Jackson seem to already be packing and starting a list of what to take...I can't even do that to myself yet. I just can't. Because that makes it real when that happens and when it becomes real it needs to be the day before I see him...my emotions will be on high and I can't have them on high that long before I see him.

I keep telling everyone I can't wait for Thanksgiving Day...I always eat the best on that day and I always take the best nap on that day. Just a tradition around here...eat...nap...repeat...I may throw in some scrapbooking because I haven't been keeping up with the scrapbook ive been doing of myself and Daniel. Just not enough time...and I guess that is a great thing.

I have some major cleaning to do in the next 3 1/2 weeks...and party planning. I am giving Daniel a welcome home party on the 18th. It will be fun! I am thinking bon fire...or just something in the house. I think bon fire would be more fun though, who knows though. Just for him to see his friends is the major point of it though!

Let the Holidays officially begin this week! YAY!

complaining about complainers...

I am going to complain about complainers and whiners...so hear me out.
Maybe it is the lack of sleep thats making me ornery...actually I can almost bet on it...but bare with me...
People that are openly negative with other people and people that always complain drive me up the damn wall. Excuse my language.

I mean have they never heard...if you have nothing good to say don't say anything at all...
Okay yes, I am not perfect...I have been negative...I have been the debbie downer...but the people that are like that 24/7...get freaking real.

For instance I won't name names...and if this person reads this...so be it. If you want to confront me about it, go for it, because I will tell you the same thing...
BUT this person...ive seen it all over facebook...my senior year sucks...I don't want to remember it because so and so's significant other broke up with them. GET REAL you are a senior in high school...embrace it...screw that other person. good gosh.

And maybe my whole situation has put things in perspective and such...but I also HATE hearing girls say how much they miss their boyfriends or significant others when you will most likely see them tomorrow...what about those girls that don't see their man for 6 months at a time...or a year...get tough sweet heart. Just makes me want to literally punch someone...

Blah okay I am done!

So its official. I am getting married in march! eeeeeeeeeee! (insert girly scream)

Me and Daniel have been discussing through letters and phone calls how we will just do the "courthouse" wedding in March then the big thing hopefully in September like i've been wanting. Long as he doesn't get deployed or we are out of the country. Cross my fingers. Even though I wouldn't mind living out of the country...bring it on!

It was really a mind battle on whether or not we would do the March thing or just wait...but being apart really kind of set it in perspective...for both of us. NO more being apart unless absolutely have to. I think in half of my letters from Daniel...at the end he says...just FYI we are getting married in March...like I could forget.

It is going to be a small family thing, so don't anyone get offended if you don't get an invite! I'll take care of you in the big wedding! Promise! When and If I do the big wedding...I am thinking about just doing a big reception/party instead of doing the ceremony. I mean I will already be married...I just want to be able to enjoy that fact with everyone. I don't know...just an idea for now. Tell me what you think! I need opinions and ideas!

A lot of opinions I get think it is tacky, but what in the WORLD are military couples suppose to do? Like get off your high horse. I am not doing it to get gifts. I can do without them...I just want to enjoy the event with everyone!

Who knows, need suggestions!

Crossing My Fingers

This time change is really messing with me. I get so use to the summer and it staying light until 8-9 PM. Then I can't sleep past 8 or so...not cool. This morning I suppose the cleaning bug got into me and I just started cleaning and organizing my room. It still doesn't look even remotely the way I want it too.

I want Daniel to come home and be like Oh! It looks good! But...no change except it has stayed a little cleaner without him leaving his dirty clothes or xbox stuff everywhere. At this point...all I want is the dirty clothes everywhere and the xbox cords everywhere...I can't wait for that again.

As of tomorrow only 30 days left...4 weeks. I am currently waiting on a phone call, crossing my fingers I get one. We've gotten on this pattern of letters on Monday & Wednesday then nothing until Sunday then I get a phone call. So I live for Sundays...living for that phone call...pretty sad.

It makes me emotional when I even think about it...I just miss him. I have these sappy moments. I hate it. I am not this girl, but he definitely makes me hurt when he isn't here. It's not his fault...he did this for himself and like he said in many of his letters he did this for us and our future. I love him for that...and as i've said many times...really hate the distance part of it.

I keep thinking about that moment of seeing him for the first time at Family Day...and I just have really no idea what my reaction will be. I mean I will of course be excited...but I can't judge if I am going to bawl like a baby or bawl and be smiling...I will probably shed a few tears.

Definitely been the hardest 2 1/2 months of my life. Never had an understanding that one person being gone would change my life so much.

deals

I am officially an old fart...I am watching Antiques Roadshow. No offense to others who watch and are not "old farts".
This stuff just interests me...I am hoping one day I will see something on there that is in my grandmothers house and we will be rich. psssh. Right.

Today was a good day...got up about 9...didn't move out of bed til about 10...showered...and relaxed for awhile. Went and got mom had lunch at yummy Partners.

Then I took a big step today...I went to Daniels house. (Dun Dun Dun) I haven't set foot in the McIntyre home since Daniel left. It was just to hard. It was hard to even go into my own house...much less his. But I figured, it has been a month. Time to suck it up and do it. So I did. I dealt, and I was okay. It was all good. I got to see Hanky Pank. LOVE that dog. I also got to see my future mother in law...I love her too ;) It was just one of those steps that I had to make...it is a lot of memories over coming you at once. You just have to run with it, and deal.

After that large step...I decided I had about 2 hours before I had to go get my mom, I would go do some shopping. Before we moved I went on a cleaning spree..and by cleaning I mean...if I hadn't worn it in 6 months...or if it didn't fit...it was thrown out and by thrown out I mean donated. So my winter clothes had become slim pickins. So I decided to treat myself to a little Ross therapy. Spent about $45..not to shabby! Got some really cute things, and thats saying a lot, I never find things that fit right in there!

Got mom...then went to the Red Door Consignment store to try and drop off some Xmas stuff...we were too late...so we shopped instead! ha-ha so I got a new pair of jeans for only $10.00! Woot Woot for deals!

sidenote

WHY must I keep having these dreams?!

Like my mental health cannot take this anymore. HAHA
I hear your dreams are sometimes your worst fear...I don't know the total write up on dreams or anything but thats what i've heard.

But my dreams have been HORRIBLE. Night before last...Daniel was breaking up with me...Last night Daniel was leaving me because he felt the military life was not fair to me. Like really?! Quit that!

I do my best to think positive thoughts before bed...because, I believe going to bed on a positve note...is well positive.

So sidenote to my dreams...Daniel isn't leaving me, so be gone!

Lets hope for a better day today, like a phone call or a letter or BOTH! How about that?!

Keebler

I am really bummed today. I can't shake the feeling. I have my good days and I have my bad days...this is one of those inbetween days.

I think I am so bummed because I had such a rough day at work. I am frustrated because the little one is in his terrible twos. He is also in the I want my mommy phase all the time...and I don't blame him one bit...but when his mom needs to work and theres no way I can pull him away from her I feel like I am slacking on my job, and it frustrates me. Because I hate that. But I can't fight his will to want his mom...I mean...who can?

I am looking forward to this weekened...GA vs. Auburn...lets get it Dawgs. I mean I have a really bad feeling we are going to get stomped. But its still fun to watch.

On Friday I am taking my granddaddy to have surgery on his thumb...something about his nerves isn't right. So prayers for him please :)

I went to Rite Aid to get a prescription and noticed all of my favorite keebler brand cookies were on sale...they are now stashed in my room because my dad has the same love for chocolate as I do...so I have to hide everything!Thats the only part of only child syndrome I have...I don't share...well...with my parents. Ha-ha! But they are so yummy, made my heart happy for a moment.

My body hurts...I just want to crawl in bed...I hope that doesn't mean I am getting sick because usually when my body hurts like this...its the beginning of a nasty cold or something else. UGH! Never good! I fear I am going to get sick when Daniel is getting ready to graduate from BCT and i'll be miserable in the middle of December Cold...but I know that no illness will overcome the happiness I'll have to see him.

36 more days...c'mon with it!

Monday Monday...

Monday Monday...ooooh.

It was definitely a Monday...hectic...hectic...hectic...

Worked at the office today watching Pierson. He has definitely hit the terrible two's. Its almost funny when he pitches a fit, but its all about that testing process. Testing the boundaries is what he is all about. And that's okay, he should test his boundaries. All two year olds do.

The picture above is my life right now...my cats. Since I am waiting patiently for my man to get home I have inevitably become the cat lady in my house. The 2 kitties on the right are mine...well I call them mine; Samantha and Little Bit. The one on the left is my moms cat, Whiskers. She is hitting her senior citizen stage finally and she has been banned from my room..got home today and she had threw up on my bed and pooped in my laundry basket. Big no no in my room...so kitty is banned.

I hate when our pets get older...its like the ending of an era in your life because a pet definitely sees a lot things in the years they are in our lives. I know when my dog died last month I was lost. She was there through some of the toughest times of my life...although a silent member...she was there. So it hurt to know that comfort was no longer there.

I've debated with many people whether or not animals go to Heaven...I have a hard time believing they don't. Why would God give you a creature so great and not deem it good enough to go to Heaven? And no one can tell me that an animal doesn't have a soul. I know more animals that have souls then some people.

But it is all up for debate...I know where I stand on it. I truely hope that when I get to heaven I have some great animals there to help greet me.

10 Minutes

I never thought in a million years that a 10 minute phone call would change my outlook on the start of my week.

I had gotten really down since Wednesday when I hadn't gotten any more letters. I know...I am pathedic and shouldn't be so worried. But I am...so back off! So I was really hoping for a phone call tonight, and I didn't know if it was going to happen, but it did!

10 minutes of happiness. Daniel is really upbeat...I wouldn't say he is enjoying himself, but he isn't complaining either. So thats good. He qualified on his rifle! Yipee...like 34 out of 40 shots? Something like that? I don't know all the lingo and stuff. All I know if Daniel has a shot to kill me...he will probably make it...so I better not make him mad. ha-ha!

I messed with him and told him I was feeling almost single...he was like that ring means you are far from single. I laughed, and told him of course. I feel like the old cat lady right now...3 cats on my bed trying to stay warm...far from single and searching.

This is the hardest thing I've done in my life being away from him...I am sure I will endure much harder things, but this is tough and I am doing it. Which makes me remember I am independent...I can do things on my own. Almost a relief. Don't judge me for becoming dependent on him...I didn't realize how dependent I even was until he was gone. He didn't realize it either...his first letters broke my heart because he hit that moment of wow... I do need her around. Broke my heart and made extremely happy to know I am needed just as much.

I like this love stuff...its exciting and happy.

Grannas Attic update!

Hello everyone!

Here is my update on the things I posted on my last "Grannas Attic" post!

The Jaymar Piano we have is not worth as much as I thought it might be. I have seen it vary in prices from $20-40. Well that is a tank of gas, so not to shabby. It is made here in the USA, probably in the 60's.

The black dolls I found I could never find an exact match for. I don't know if there really is. I don't know if these are home made or if there is many of these out there. The name Mammy Dolls is coming up in a lot of my searches with similar looks. They had price ranges all over. I never found any with the same clothes though, or any with a big doll and a smaller doll. This makes me wonder if my grandmother may have made these...I doubt it...but I wonder.

Onto probably my favorite thing...the playskool House Jack Built. From what I can find, House Jack Built is a rhyme...very long, very boring. If you would like to read it, google it. But I found one house similar on the internet, not the same pieces. I seemed to have more of the pieces. But this person, hadn't put a price on it and hadn't listed a year. So I am still up in the air and looking.

Another thing I really love is the small guitar I found. I found a lot of minature guitars for sale but none with the same Western pattern. All of the ones I found seemed to have a spanish flare to it. So no price...no year...no value. NO clue! ha-ha

If anyone is interested in these items please contact me via facebook or my email which is courtneyperry@hotmail.com

Thanks for reading!

I really wonder if anyone ever reads this thing except my mom...ha-ha. Well I know a few people do!

Busy is a Blessing

WHAT a day...
God truely blesses me with how busy he keeps me. Yes being busy is a blessing in my eyes. Today was a special day. The toddler I watch on a regular basis had his 2nd birthday party today!
His real birthday isn't until the 20th, but wanted to get it in before it got too cold! Shashura his mom had it had Bobs Pumpkin Patch in Newnan. TOOOO Cute! Here is some pictures of one of the main men in my life.

This is Pierson and his great grandmother...how special is that?

Some of the Peacocks from the Pumpkin Patch. They were beautiful. The peacocks compared to the fall colors were just awesome.

After the party I went to the Halloween store...dun dun dun. Today was inventory today. Well besides someone breaking the printer which we needed the most today...it was a long process. We aren't even done. We have to box everything tomorrow. Wup De Do! I officially hate halloween now...I have seen enough squishy bats...chopped off heads...and blood to last me a lifetime. But I made money...and yes money is bueno.

It is so cold outside...I love it. I would love it more if I had my man to cuddle with like every other girl...But no I get to read other girls status's on facebook about how much they adore their man and enjoying their time. I am not bitter at all. :) Only 39 more days...Thank the Lord above!

Grannas Attic!

Hello!

Okay if anyone knows my familia, they know the daunting task we are taking on at the moment. The cleaning out process of my grandparents home. Now, we come across some pretty neat things in this house. Probably a lot of things are left to be discovered. Well I want to share the things we are finding. Welcome to my new little section I want to do once a week (don't hold me to that). Welcome to Grannas Attic!

This set of block figures goes with the school

house below. No clue its worth no clue if it's even worth anything for that matter!

I just liked it!

Okay the big doll below I found in the actual attic and remembered

I had seen the little one somewhere, so I found it. So heres a set. What they are worth and their name? No clue. Will get back to you!

Okay this pretty little mini piano I have been playing with since I can remember. It stands about a foot tall. It says JAYMAR made in USA. So I will have to do my research I suppose.


Here is the little play house that goes with the figures in the first picture. The above ones are the shapes that go in the windows. It is unusual. I don't know what to think about it.

It's made by playskool. Research to follow.

I have seen this little guitar in this house for years and years. I don't know where it came from or any origin. It doesn't have any kind of trademark or name on it.

So I don't know what to think about it.

But I like it.

I have some more to add but I will just save that for next week. I want to research these first. Look back soon for an update to see if I found anything on these items.

If any of my readers know anything about any of these items, let me know!

I am all about learning new things!

Thanks!

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41

Changed the blog big time...got tired of seeing the blue. Wanted something that was more geared towards my life at the moment. Well I think I hit that nail on the head. I will probably change it 50 more times in the future, but oh well its fun and something to do.

41 more days until Daniel comes home...seems so far away, but he left October 4th...that was a long time ago...I can't believe how fast time is flying. The phone calls and letters are helping tremendously.

I am looking forward to my next time goal...Thanksgiving... for a couple reasons. One, I get to keep Hank one of my favorite dogs on this earth. Love him. 2nd, the food. Nothing beats thanksgiving. Of course all that family stuff thrown in there...haha...I know I am heartless.

Also, Thanksgiving means all of my friends will be home for break. These are the times I enjoy the most because my friends mean the world to me, and I really miss them when they are off at school.

I wish Daniel would be here for Thanksgiving, but since we have been dating I don't think we've spent one Thanksgiving together anyways, just because we have different family events going on. So hopefully I won't be to down because of that. A phone call would be nice though.

I am so ready for this basic training thing to be over with...it seems it's all I focus on 24/7. And if I get lucky, I can concentrate on something else for a couple hours.

I am definetely going to give Daniel one good punch when he gets home for all the worry and tears he has caused me during this. But then smile and say I love you, because that's what couples do. Well this couple anyways...

I wouldn't trade it for anything else, that is something I am sure of.

I am sure many people think I need to get a life and find something to do...don't get me wrong. I am working almost full time, and going to school. So I am not wasting away at my computer every day or waiting at my mail box for a letter. I do get on with life, in my own way.

This new experience causes me to focus heavily on it, because its new. It is like when you get a new purse or a new pair of jeans. You want to wear it or carry it constantly, because it is new...

I am trying on and carrying this experience with me until it feels no longer new and I can find some normalcy to my life...normalcy...wouldn't that be great.

Seeing Red

Cold weather has finally arrived to Georgia...about time. I was getting worried with those 80 degree days in October. I was listening to WSB in the car and they said possible snow flurries this weekend! Heat from hell to snow flurries...never fails. Only in Georgia.

Well last night was the big election! Seems like the republicans took back over! How welcomed that is! I will admit. I did not vote. Here are my reasons...
1. I didn't care for Barnes or Deal, none tickled my fancy. Even the libertarian.
2. I had no idea what ammendments I would be voting for, that isn't fair to go in blind.
3. People going in blind and ignorant is how Obama got elected, see how that has worked out for us?
I also felt going to vote a straight republican ticket was not doing my duty as a citizen without really doing the research to know what person wants what and what they plan on doing. I did not want to be that ignorant voter. So next election, I will be on it. I will be well versed.

Listening to Obamas speech today made me calm for some reason. I don't know if the man was talking out his rear end, but he seemed humbled by the elections last night. Now don't get me wrong...I did not vote for Obama, nor do I agree with about 90% of what comes out of his mouth. But he is still human, and I still respect him. I couldn't run this country. I also pray for him frequently. He is a high priority on my prayer list. Because he holds my parents, me and my future husband, and my future children, and their childrens future in his hands. I think prayer is much needed. Not the hatred...

Like I was hearing on WSB today...the beast called "We the People" have awoken...and we will not go away. We are coming across loud and clear now...I am proud of our people. We will make it right again. Whatever right is. Time for a REAL change, and not the one Obama has been talking about.

Because quite honestly, I haven't seen much change that he promised. I know change does not happen over night...I am realistic and knew it would take time. But c'mon...even this ignorant southern girl from Georgia knows something isn't right.

Busy weekend ahead...Piersons 2nd birthday party, inventory at the halloween store, and just cleaning and trying to do something with this house. Oh and writing plenty of letters...really enjoying that part of my life right now.

My dad had surgery on his wrist this morning. He came through just fine. He had it done at resurgeons in Morrow, first class people. Would recommend them with anyone with a broken bone.
Dad has got his pain pills, so he is a happy camper.

If you have extra time in your life or you feel the call, everyone should write to a soldier. They really rely on the support of others. It is a really cool thing to support someone in camo during these times.

God bless!

BLAH

So I started googling Army Wives blogs today...found a good few, and they simply scare me. All they talk about is their kids and their husbands deployments or future deployments. Some have 1 child others have 4. It is simply mind boggling.

I respect these women more than most. This whole possible deployment thing scares me so much. I know Daniel won't be on the front lines, but who wants their partner gone for a year or more? I know I don't. But I know it is apart of the job. But I really HATE that part of the job, and the unknown, I don't favor that either!

These women talk about their husbands missing births of children...major holidays...etc. I think I can deal with the holidays, but missing the birth of a child? That BLOWS my mind. So hopefully no babies for me and Daniel until I know he can be there, and as for having babies. Not happening, ANYTIME soon. I like to give them back to the parents.

BLAH! Just overwhelming stuff that my mind can't deal with.

wedding plans

Lately I have been floating around ideas of wedding plans. It is REALLY hard to plan a wedding when you have no idea where you will be in 4 1/2 months. Daniel could get deployed...we could be shipped out to Germany...or who knows. So planning my wedding seems really minor at the moment.

At this point, me and Daniel will probably get married in a private "court house" wedding, then do something later when we can pin down something more exact. Because if he gets shipped over seas besides Afghanistan...I am going with! No arguments. Not doing this whole living apart thing anymore if I don't have to! Shoot Daniel wants to get married when he gets home for Christmas, I don't think so! This basic training does weird things to these men...ha-ha.

I tried to see if I could cut down my wedding invite list by 85 people today to get it down to 100 people, wasn't happening. It was mind boggling, because I want to invite all the people I love, and so does Daniel. Makes it REALLY difficult.

But I know in the end Daniel could do the court house wedding and be done. Most men would rather go that route...and at this point I am not arguing. They seem to be the smart ones in the end.

Yes I am a girl and want the beautiful wedding dress, the cake, the invitations, and the beautiful reception. Don't get me wrong, I want it all. But, it's not what it's about.

The stress of not knowing where you will land in a couple months is over whelming. Then trying to plan a wedding when you don't know where you will land...is more like chaotic.

I would like to go shopping for a wedding dress, but I am almost scared to even do that! I shouldn't be scared to plan my wedding but I totally am!

Not going to lie, not being in control of what happens to me or Daniel is SCARY. Anyone will tell you, I like to be in control of the situation...for example. I would rather drive a million miles then let someone else drive. Because if something happens in the car...I would rather be in control because I think I am more capable of handling it better. That's just how I am. Hints why me and Daniel argue a lot over who is going to drive. Because he never lets me! And I don't like it.

Besides the point. It's scary and this whole Army is totally stretching me out of my comfort zone, maybe it's a good thing. I haven't decided yet. The unknown is just plain scary. A lot scarier now than it was before. Scarier because I don't know whether or not my future husband is going to be shipped to Afghanistan or Iraq to help fight this war...well not fight. But fix a lot diesel trucks ha-ha. But still, not cool.

Oh well I am just counting my lucky stars and saying a prayer that we are the lucky ones and he doesn't get deployed, but trust me. I am not holding my breath.