Crossing My Fingers

This time change is really messing with me. I get so use to the summer and it staying light until 8-9 PM. Then I can't sleep past 8 or so...not cool. This morning I suppose the cleaning bug got into me and I just started cleaning and organizing my room. It still doesn't look even remotely the way I want it too.

I want Daniel to come home and be like Oh! It looks good! But...no change except it has stayed a little cleaner without him leaving his dirty clothes or xbox stuff everywhere. At this point...all I want is the dirty clothes everywhere and the xbox cords everywhere...I can't wait for that again.

As of tomorrow only 30 days left...4 weeks. I am currently waiting on a phone call, crossing my fingers I get one. We've gotten on this pattern of letters on Monday & Wednesday then nothing until Sunday then I get a phone call. So I live for Sundays...living for that phone call...pretty sad.

It makes me emotional when I even think about it...I just miss him. I have these sappy moments. I hate it. I am not this girl, but he definitely makes me hurt when he isn't here. It's not his fault...he did this for himself and like he said in many of his letters he did this for us and our future. I love him for that...and as i've said many times...really hate the distance part of it.

I keep thinking about that moment of seeing him for the first time at Family Day...and I just have really no idea what my reaction will be. I mean I will of course be excited...but I can't judge if I am going to bawl like a baby or bawl and be smiling...I will probably shed a few tears.

Definitely been the hardest 2 1/2 months of my life. Never had an understanding that one person being gone would change my life so much.